Classroom Q & A #1: Ask boys ‘how’ and not ‘why’

When you ask a boy a question my advice is to always ask ‘how’ questions and not ‘why’ questions.

The reason is that boys feel like they are implicitly being threatened or attacked when they are asked ‘why’.  They automatically assume they have done something wrong and boys need to feel safe if they are going to learn and participate in the classroom.

For example, just say I have a boy in a class who hasn’t done his homework.

If I ask him, ‘Why haven’t you completed your homework?’ I doubt I’m going to get an honest response and he probably won’t engage or participate in my lesson that day or even for a few days.  He feels attacked and threatened.  I am the enemy, he needs to defeat and defend me.

If I ask him, ‘How is it that you came to class today without your homework complete?’ I suspect I would get a fairly honest answer.  He would probably list a whole range of reasons from he had training after school, to he forgot, to the bus was late to whatever the case was.  I’ve got my information – he knows I want homework done in the future and to top it off I’ve learnt one or two things about what he does outside of school.

I use this technique a lot in Christian Studies.

I regularly ask the boys “How does this make a difference to your life?” as opposed to “Why does this make a difference to your life?” and then see what discussion emerges.

So next time you are questioning a boy, try asking him ‘how’ instead of ‘why’ and see if you get a different response.

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